Black Business Spotlight: Respect the Queen

I recently had the chance to purchase and interview with the wonderful woman behind the Respect the Queen brand. Everyone that is a part of this blog knows how much I love black businesses and she is one of the first female black business owners I have had the chance to come across.  I'm really excited about this interview and hope everyone enjoys it.

The woman behind “Respect the Queen” is Terra J. I’m a 35-year-old single mother originally from Saginaw, Michigan. However, I currently reside in Dallas, Texas.  I recently received my MBA in Public Administration.  By day I am a litigation clerk for a local law firm. By birth I am a Queen! I am a mom! I am human! I am transparent! I am authentic! I am a work in progress.

1.) What made you want to create your brand?

I was born in to chaos and I struggled all of my life to maintain my Queen stature. I lacked the fatherly role model every “Queen in Training” deserves as a child. I became very rigid and cold. Against all odds I continued to move forward in my life! About a year ago I began to look deep within myself and through this journey I realized I deserved so much better in life. I realized I had lost the Queen within! I began to tap into a power beyond my understanding. I started to talk to other Queens who also experienced trials and tribulations. I’m a business major so I began to ponder on how I could use my experience, strength and hope to help every women tap into her inner Queen.  I ran across a beautiful Queen by the name of Kellie Brew and the magic began.  In the meanwhile I have met a variety of African Queens who just happen to be artist and they have helped my vision come to life. My vision is for African Queens to see themselves on all sorts of apparel because I feel as though we are underrepresented and/or exploited in the industry.  Success means many things to many people but for mean success is when a Queen is empowered and uplifted after a “Respect the Queen” experience.

2. How long have you been designing your items (shirts, dresses, leggings, etc.)?

Respect the Queen was established in November of 2013.  I haven’t been in business for a full year . The difference today is I have evolved into a better woman. I’ve been able to dig deeper into my soul and identify with my customer’s on a deeper level. I’ve been able to establish actual relationships with my customer’s. My customer’s have full access to me outside of a business relationship. We chit-chat about life and I make an attempt to impact their lives. The difference between “Respect the Queen” and other ‘s is I truly want to establish life, long relationships with my Queens. I really don’t see myself as a “Boss” but as an advocate for Queens all over the world. A “Boss” leads people to help him or her live their dreams. I personally want to uplift and empower Queens to live their own dreams.

 3. Would you ever want to have a store front?

I’m not sure if I want to have a store front. I’m not nor do I define success in the same manner as most people. There are a lot of highs and lows when running a business. Some days I receive very negative attention and it hurts my soul because I know my hearts  true intention. Prayer and meditation keep me grounded. I read a lot and I stay involved in my community. The Queens that I’ve been able to establish relationships with truly uplift and inspire me more than I do for them. At the end of the day if I just help one Queen tap into her inner Queen then I know I’ve done what My Creator intended for me to do and that for me is enough.

4. How much does social media play into your business?

 

Social media is everything but I love being in the community. Talking to folks face to face is the best way to get your message across. Social media can have folks hating you for doing something good but loving those who promote hate. It’s funny how that works. 

5.)What areas would you want to expand to?

 

 I want to get into more high end fashion as well as more apparel for the “Queen in Training.” I envision having the ability to provide everything she needs from the top of her crown to the bottom of her feet. I believe tapping into the minds of our youth is where it starts. 

6.) Where do you see your brand in five years? 

 

I see Respect the Queen running mentor programs for our youth, developing an at risk home for Queens ages 10-17 as well as being in a position where I can provide better service for my clients. Running a small business can be tough and in five years I expect Respect the Queen to have gained the financial power it takes to conduct business on an international level let alone holding community and social events of my own. 

7.) What does respect the queen mean to you personally?

 

Respect the Queen means healing, growth, change, maturity, love, life, transforming, and trust for me personally. Respect the Queen helps me to heal in more ways than many could imagine. 

8.) What would you want women of younger generations to take from your clothing line?  If you could tell the women of today's generation and the future generation one thing, what would it be?  

Being a bad bisssh is very expensive. It robs you of your morals and respect for yourself an those around you. It robs you of your womanhood! It takes special gifts from you that are very hard to get back. Being a bad bisssh forces you to exploit yourself and your body in order to fit in. Being a bad bisssh sells sex, drugs and poisons our community. Being a bad bisssh is not a requirement in life. Being a bad bisssh gets old. Transforming your mind into the mind set of a Queen will last you a life time. Dress and act in the same manner you want to be addressed. 

9.) What mark do you want to leave in the world?

 

My personal and professional life is always intertwined. I tend to try to separate the two but they go hand in hand. If I only had one thing to leave behind in this world, I would want to leave my people with the ability to uplift and empower each other without exploiting one another. This is the legacy I will leave for my son and his family. That for me is something money cannot buy!

 

10.) what inspires you to keep going every day?

 

My son first and foremost. He saw me as the self proclaimed bad bissh. I want him to see me as the Queen I was naturally designed to be. Furthermore the plight of our people is in a very sad state. I cannot turn my back on the people that would be like turning my back on my family. 

Spiritual Saturday: Book Review

Hey King's and Queen's,

It's Spiritual Saturday.  So each Saturday or Sunday there will be a new post from myself or my blog partner on a way to enhance, boost or add to your spiritual practice. I understand that not everyone has the same beliefs as myself of my blog partner but it doesn't hurt to learn something new and do your own research.

So obviously this post is going to be a book review.  A lot of us read the same books but don't get the same thing from them.  So this is going to my review and what I took from the book.

This weeks featured book is Strengthening Her Essence by Fila McMillan-Antoine. I found this book because she follows one of my Instagram accounts (@intellectual__badass). For a while I avoided buying the book purely because I didn't know how it would fit into my journey.  At the time I was just getting to learn more about Kemeticism and that was all I focused on, I didn't leave room for anything else. After months and months of seeing her post about the book and some other women commenting on how much it helped them, I finally bit the bullet and went to look for the book.  I hopped on Amazon and found it.  3 days later it arrived on my doorstep.  I carried it around with me for two additional days before I cracked it open while I was at work.

I can honestly say I devoured the book. Its short and gets to the point quickly. Fila helps you identify what type of woman you are and points out the issues in that character type.  She then lists what can be done to help with those issues and how you can heal yourself.  She also touches on sex and how its a sacred act and how you should only allow the energy of someone you want to be with to have your energy linked with .

What I loved about the book is that she leaves your entire self-healing book up to you.  In order to heal yourself, you have to want healing.  She doesn't hand you the exact path and tell you what to do.  She makes mention to some of the things she dealt with and suggests ways you can begin your own healing process. I hate being told what to do, so to have a book that is suggesting what I could be doing instead of telling me what to do made me enjoy this short book even more. 

I hope you pick this book up and share your experiences on what you took from it.

Sisterhood

                                   

THE ALL works in mysterious ways. I feel like I am constantly being reminded of the love and assistance needed to further walk on my journey. At times I have felt alone. The kind of alone that is surrounded by mobs of people yet feels like there's no one to relate to. But the universe has sent me a gift from an unexpected source..

I want to thank Shavonne for reminding me in a moment of weakness that I was wrong. I thank her for being the inspiration for my topic tonight. She was the link. While down and out about matters of the heart she reached out to me. I wasn't expecting it at all. Not only did she consistently ask me how I was doing for the days thereafter but she left her hand out (metaphorically) for whenever I needed to lean. She was no longer my "blog partner"...she became my friend.

To "lean" (or to seek emotional guidance) is an important tool I learned how to do while in college with my sorority sisters. However, I forgot that the importance of sisterhood is not how we console our closest friends/ loved ones, but how we are able to extend our love to those who we don't know as well or at all. 

As (black) women, we tend to be harsh on each other. We criticize each other for the way we look, how we talk, where we are from, how we dress, and how we choose to conduct our everyday lives. But we often forget that we are ALL one. Our differences are only branches to a single tree that we are ALL rooted in. We share the same struggles one way or the other. But in a world where it is "survival of the fittest"; and we look down on the "weak" (or "weak-minded") let us strive to be the link. The strength that is willing to be the rock for another. The link of encouragement, love, and understanding that we all need to grow and ultimately teach to one another.

We are not here for ourselves alone. We are here to heal...to inspire...and to encourage one another. Even though society has corrupted our minds into the idea of competing for men, money, attention, prestige, etc. we must remember that a true woman of THE ALL is here to be source of strength. 

Remember...WE ARE THE SOURCE!!!

Diet IS Spiritual (Part 2)

In the first part of my post last week I briefly explained my spiritual journey and thus discovering the connection between spirituality and food. I do want to first off, make a disclaimer to anyone who may not practice/ believe what I do particularly about food. I'm only providing my story and encouraging others who are thinking what I was thinking regarding what we put in our bodies as "nourishment".

Being raised in the church there was no real discussion on taking care of your body on a physical level. Only in regards to premarital sex, and weed & alcohol consumption. Half of the time the majority of the congregation were either smokers, drinkers, and/or overweight. Of course, if we ran into a certain scripture pertaining to gluttony (for example) then there would be an elaboration....a brief one.

I did learn, however, learn about the story of Daniel. To summarize, Daniel was a man who refused to eat the food of the King (flesh foods & wine) and decided to partake in a (vegan) fast consisting of whole grains, fruits vegetables and strictly water. By the time it was all said and done as noted in Daniel 10:3 & Daniel 1:15 it states:

3" I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.....15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food."

It intrigued me how Daniel strayed from flesh foods and did not consider it a key component in optimal health. Fast forward to now many faiths, condone not only eating flesh meat but in some cases even pork. The consumption of pork in particular goes against the Old Testament law. 

Over the years. I would occasionally run into a vegan or vegetarian and hear horror stories about how the animals are treated before they are turned into food. But I didn't immerse myself in it until reading Queen Afua's book Sacred Woman. In the book she explained how flesh foods cause dis-ease and other behavioral issues, and that the ultimate goal of eliminating meat out of our diet (in addition to other processed/ refined foods) should be attained.

A little over a week ago, I decided to watch Vegucated on Netflix. In this documentary you had four people exploring the vegan diet and learning how meat is processed and fed to the masses. By the end of the movie, I was able to witness first hand how these animals were not only forced to live in an unnatural environment but were also abused and savagely murdered at these factory farms. 

Chicks were ground alive. Chickens were de-beaked without sedation. Cows were castrated without sedation. Baby calves were ripped away from their mothers without being properly weaned. Pigs were electrocuted and shot in the head among each other. Chickens would be so pumped up in steroids to be larger they would collapse and no longer be able to walk These animals (cows, chickens and pigs) were fed corn, which goes against their natural environment entirely. In addition to that, all of these animals had to live in their own feces. This is in part why most antibiotics do not go to humans but in fact these animals. I even found out that even so called "organic:" meats can not necessarily be excluded from this kind of treatment. It only, in part, ensures that they are not fed any growth hormones. 

I had to think about it. Animals have spirits. It implies that in not only in the Bible but other forms of spirituality as well. Just like our pets have emotions and personalities, so does every other animal. If I ingest the meat of an abused animal what kind of spirit(s) am I putting in my body? On a spiritual level, what does that really mean? After watching the movie it validated in my mind the importance of returning to the original way of eating as discussed in Genesis 1:29. More and more studies are proving that eating meat can be linked to may different illnesses that plague us all. Recalls on meat are a common part of our society now with issues of contamination. So what do you do? Do you continue to consume or do you pause in angst?

When you sit down to eat your next meal ask yourself this: are you eating for physical gratification only or are you also eating for the nourishment of your soul?

Let's Talk Balance: Physical

Hey guys (including the queens too!)

I hope you noticed that I have another queen that has come to the table to spread the word on some things that are important to her.  I feel it is important that we show each other love in our community and continue to build with one another.  There can be no black unity and no black power, without understanding and support.  So I would like to give a huge thank you to living_maat for joining me on the blog.  I really look forward to working with her to spread love, healing, some consciousness and everything else we can think of to the community.

So onto the subject of today's blog.  I think this may actually turn into a series, but we'll see how that goes as we move along this journey together.

Balance is important.  Not just for physical things like walking, but on all 3 or 4 levels. The 3/4 levels I am referring to are mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.  Now some people will lump mental and emotional or emotional and spiritual into one category which is fine.  The point is we need to strive for balance in all of these areas.

So lets take a look at the physical aspect of the Big Four.  Physical balance is more than just are you standing up straight today.  Physical balance includes a wide array of things like, have you had enough to eat today, did you get enough sleep last night, etc. Your well being physically is the most visual of the Big Four but seems to be the most neglected.  We tend to push ourselves physically, get less sleep than we should, eat more or less than we should, drink way less water than we should, drink more alcohol than we should, exercise less than we should and then wonder why we have aches and pains and our energy tanks seem to be on E.

So I want to encourage everyone to seek balance in the physical aspect of their lives (I find this the easiest one to start with).

Make sure you're getting enough sleep. I know you are out there hustling for your future (I am too), but sleep is important. How are you going to be able to enjoy the things you are working for now if you're too exhausted? I'm not saying give up your grind completely, however I am suggesting that you get the correct amount of sleep for your age so that you're able to function and do what you need to do.

Make sure you are eating enough and your body is getting the proper nutrition.  Meat eaters eat differently than vegetarians who eat different from vegans.  Wherever you fall, make sure you are getting what your body needs.  I am not a doctor in any shape, form or fashion, so I'm not going to tell you exactly what you need to be ingesting and in what combination to get what you need.  I'm just going to tell you do it.

Speaking of do it, make sure you are getting some form of physical fitness.  Whether you enjoy yoga, going to the gym, boxing, getting sweaty with your significant others (you know what I'm talking about, don't get shy on me now), you need to be actively doing something.  Even if its just walking, get out there and walk. There is seriously no excuse for not being able to be physically active for a minimum of 15 minutes a day (I do squats at work when my store is empty, so if I can still get a mini exercise in, you have no excuse).

And lastly, make sure you're drinking enough water. There is a formula to figure out how much water you are supposed to be drinking a day.  Your weight divided in half, divided by 8 to find the number of cups of water you should drink per day. Water is so vital to our body that I shouldn't even have to add this part! Not juice, not soda, water.  If you want to get on the aloe vera and coconut water thing be my guest (I think it's pretty tasty). If you want to drink infused water, do that.  But drink water all day, every day.

I hope everyone strives to find a little more physical balance in their daily lives.  If you can think of any other physical areas that I missed, add them in the comments section below. 

Until next time,
Hotep King's and Queen's

Diet IS Spirituality (Part 1)

For the past several months I have been making an attempt to transform my life from the inside out. Over the years I had tried many approaches that were unsuccessful. I would end up defaulting to "healing" myself from the outside in, and not seem to be making any significant changes no matter what I tried. 

I was going off of the typical feedback of the 1992 Food Pyramid in which lean (meat) proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains, working out regularly, etc were vital keys to attaining a healthy lifestyle.

(80's babies...remember this???...)

So for years I hopped on and off that horse, not being able to lose more than 25 pounds at a time (in which it took forever to get that far) and of course, when I finally put back on the weight I ended up heavier than I was before. Eventually I stopped going to the gym and sunk back in to a very unhealthy/ fast food/ eat whatever I want eating lifestyle.

But my spiritual reawakening happened. I started exploring my ancestral roots as well as different forms of African spirituality. It threw me on a path that revolutionized my whole way of viewing myself as a woman and spiritual being, while educating me extensively on my spiritual/ancestral roots.

While I was still "on the horse" (as mentioned above) I had came across an Instagram post praising the work of Queen Afua.                                                                                                            

                                                            

With my interest peaked, I looked her up on YouTube. I was hooked. This woman's testimony was so inspiring. Here you had, at that time, a little girl who was plagued by numerous allergies/health issues that are so common in today's society. After attending a spiritual retreat she learned the importance of healing through plant-based foods. Today, she is healed of all of her ailments while maintaining a Vegan lifestyle. She is a notable figure in today's spiritual/ holistic health movement, particularly in the black community.

I went on to buy her Two books: Sacred Woman & Heal Thyself

                                            

These books helped to reaffirm not only how you have to heal from the inside out through spiritual assistance, but the importance of returning to the original ways of a plant-based/ meatless diet that OUR ancestors once practiced.

At the time I was still eating meat and was still a bit skeptical as to the importance of pursuing a meat-less/ plant-based diet. Since Queen Afua practices the Kemetic faith (and me still being in the church at that time) I was looking for a spiritual link to make a more comfortable/familiar connection.

In a peculiar turn of events while I was searching through The Bible for certain scriptures I had came across Genesis 1:29 and it reads:

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

THE ALL truly does work in mysterious ways....

That became my confirmation. While struggling to kick the meat habit for a couple of months, I have successfully been off meat for the past two weeks. I have lost so far a total of 15 pounds; over HALF of what I had previously lost that had taken me much longer to achieve. I'm more refreshed. I have more energy to tackle my days AND I no longer get the itis after eating a full meal



                              "The Itis" The Boondocks season 1 Episode 10/ Adult Swim


....but just when I thought I didn't need any more convincing about maintaining a meatless diet....I came across this:

                                             

                                                                                       Part Two coming soon...

Brick One

Is success a destination or is it a journey? What even is "success"? For years I thought It was a destination. One that stated It's a career. It's a husband. It's children. It's a certain size. It's a certain look. But fast forward to now I find myself asking that question again. NOW... after turning twenty-eight....being a college graduate for four years with NO career.... a ten year part-time job with no promotion in sight (with four or five second jobs scattered in between)..... a spiritual life that I couldn't truly call my own....and a reflection in the mirror that has yet to show who is really hiding behind all of this physical & emotional weight. I finally asked myself that question:

"Where the %$#@! was I all this time???"

And then immediately following that I sensed THE ALL ask me: 
"Do you even know who you REALLY are???"

My Answer: "%#@$&%...." 
...I didn't even have a clue. I had realized that my answers never had anything to do with me, but had everything to do with things outside of myself.

That realization proved to be the catalyst. That moment sparked the change.

I feel like THE ALL has put me in a peculiar space to both reflect on my life and move forward into my optimal Destiny. That "destiny"  that The Bible speaks of in Jeremiah 29: 11:


11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."


Twenty-eight years has brought so many different life experiences involving people, places, triumphs, and setbacks. But rather than choosing to live in a dream world; in which I somehow have ALL the right answers,  I'm choosing to pick up my brick and actually start BUILDING in reality. It wasn't until recently that  I realized I was only grabbing for handfuls of sand, wondering why I couldn't lay a solid foundation. Upset that my "foundation" kept crumbling. You see, my head wasn't in the right place. I wasn't even asking all the right questions when I called myself praying for an answer. At times I wasn't even asking. I was just doing; acting in my own ignorance, bias, and impatience. 

Now I'm evolving. Reading....Healing....Listening....Losing....Gaining....Praying....Affirming...((Shutting UP))...Letting go....and holding on in this process called Self-evolution. I always knew that my story would end up being one person's inspiration. And prayerfully that person would be the next person's inspiration...and the ball would keep rolling....and rolling....and rolling...That's the ultimate goal.

My purpose here is to first & foremost: 

ENLIGHTEN:
"Temet Nosce" Latin for "Know Thyself". Once you KNOW who you are and who THE ALL has called you to be, you become an unstoppable force that is able to successfully lay the foundation of the empire that is your LIFE and build accordingly!!! THE ALL has already given us all of the tools necessary. All we have to do is use them.

ENCOURAGE
Being a part of the cure and not the disease. Helping you to not only pick up the first brick but to help you keep building.

THINK
This segment will expand on such topics as spirituality, sexuality. race, gender, social standards, beauty, self-care, prejudices, relationships, etc....Whats a good way to stimulate the mind like a thought-provoking topic???

SHARE
I said I was evolving and this will allow me to be open and honest about my own struggles and what steps I'm taking to conquer them. I may want to cringe inside with what all I may disclose but then again, I'm here to be someone's inspiration.


Were all on a journey in this life....lets strive to always move in the highest vibration possible