Black Business Spotlight: Respect the Queen

I recently had the chance to purchase and interview with the wonderful woman behind the Respect the Queen brand. Everyone that is a part of this blog knows how much I love black businesses and she is one of the first female black business owners I have had the chance to come across.  I'm really excited about this interview and hope everyone enjoys it.

The woman behind “Respect the Queen” is Terra J. I’m a 35-year-old single mother originally from Saginaw, Michigan. However, I currently reside in Dallas, Texas.  I recently received my MBA in Public Administration.  By day I am a litigation clerk for a local law firm. By birth I am a Queen! I am a mom! I am human! I am transparent! I am authentic! I am a work in progress.

1.) What made you want to create your brand?

I was born in to chaos and I struggled all of my life to maintain my Queen stature. I lacked the fatherly role model every “Queen in Training” deserves as a child. I became very rigid and cold. Against all odds I continued to move forward in my life! About a year ago I began to look deep within myself and through this journey I realized I deserved so much better in life. I realized I had lost the Queen within! I began to tap into a power beyond my understanding. I started to talk to other Queens who also experienced trials and tribulations. I’m a business major so I began to ponder on how I could use my experience, strength and hope to help every women tap into her inner Queen.  I ran across a beautiful Queen by the name of Kellie Brew and the magic began.  In the meanwhile I have met a variety of African Queens who just happen to be artist and they have helped my vision come to life. My vision is for African Queens to see themselves on all sorts of apparel because I feel as though we are underrepresented and/or exploited in the industry.  Success means many things to many people but for mean success is when a Queen is empowered and uplifted after a “Respect the Queen” experience.

2. How long have you been designing your items (shirts, dresses, leggings, etc.)?

Respect the Queen was established in November of 2013.  I haven’t been in business for a full year . The difference today is I have evolved into a better woman. I’ve been able to dig deeper into my soul and identify with my customer’s on a deeper level. I’ve been able to establish actual relationships with my customer’s. My customer’s have full access to me outside of a business relationship. We chit-chat about life and I make an attempt to impact their lives. The difference between “Respect the Queen” and other ‘s is I truly want to establish life, long relationships with my Queens. I really don’t see myself as a “Boss” but as an advocate for Queens all over the world. A “Boss” leads people to help him or her live their dreams. I personally want to uplift and empower Queens to live their own dreams.

 3. Would you ever want to have a store front?

I’m not sure if I want to have a store front. I’m not nor do I define success in the same manner as most people. There are a lot of highs and lows when running a business. Some days I receive very negative attention and it hurts my soul because I know my hearts  true intention. Prayer and meditation keep me grounded. I read a lot and I stay involved in my community. The Queens that I’ve been able to establish relationships with truly uplift and inspire me more than I do for them. At the end of the day if I just help one Queen tap into her inner Queen then I know I’ve done what My Creator intended for me to do and that for me is enough.

4. How much does social media play into your business?

 

Social media is everything but I love being in the community. Talking to folks face to face is the best way to get your message across. Social media can have folks hating you for doing something good but loving those who promote hate. It’s funny how that works. 

5.)What areas would you want to expand to?

 

 I want to get into more high end fashion as well as more apparel for the “Queen in Training.” I envision having the ability to provide everything she needs from the top of her crown to the bottom of her feet. I believe tapping into the minds of our youth is where it starts. 

6.) Where do you see your brand in five years? 

 

I see Respect the Queen running mentor programs for our youth, developing an at risk home for Queens ages 10-17 as well as being in a position where I can provide better service for my clients. Running a small business can be tough and in five years I expect Respect the Queen to have gained the financial power it takes to conduct business on an international level let alone holding community and social events of my own. 

7.) What does respect the queen mean to you personally?

 

Respect the Queen means healing, growth, change, maturity, love, life, transforming, and trust for me personally. Respect the Queen helps me to heal in more ways than many could imagine. 

8.) What would you want women of younger generations to take from your clothing line?  If you could tell the women of today's generation and the future generation one thing, what would it be?  

Being a bad bisssh is very expensive. It robs you of your morals and respect for yourself an those around you. It robs you of your womanhood! It takes special gifts from you that are very hard to get back. Being a bad bisssh forces you to exploit yourself and your body in order to fit in. Being a bad bisssh sells sex, drugs and poisons our community. Being a bad bisssh is not a requirement in life. Being a bad bisssh gets old. Transforming your mind into the mind set of a Queen will last you a life time. Dress and act in the same manner you want to be addressed. 

9.) What mark do you want to leave in the world?

 

My personal and professional life is always intertwined. I tend to try to separate the two but they go hand in hand. If I only had one thing to leave behind in this world, I would want to leave my people with the ability to uplift and empower each other without exploiting one another. This is the legacy I will leave for my son and his family. That for me is something money cannot buy!

 

10.) what inspires you to keep going every day?

 

My son first and foremost. He saw me as the self proclaimed bad bissh. I want him to see me as the Queen I was naturally designed to be. Furthermore the plight of our people is in a very sad state. I cannot turn my back on the people that would be like turning my back on my family. 

Spiritual Saturday: Book Review

Hey King's and Queen's,

It's Spiritual Saturday.  So each Saturday or Sunday there will be a new post from myself or my blog partner on a way to enhance, boost or add to your spiritual practice. I understand that not everyone has the same beliefs as myself of my blog partner but it doesn't hurt to learn something new and do your own research.

So obviously this post is going to be a book review.  A lot of us read the same books but don't get the same thing from them.  So this is going to my review and what I took from the book.

This weeks featured book is Strengthening Her Essence by Fila McMillan-Antoine. I found this book because she follows one of my Instagram accounts (@intellectual__badass). For a while I avoided buying the book purely because I didn't know how it would fit into my journey.  At the time I was just getting to learn more about Kemeticism and that was all I focused on, I didn't leave room for anything else. After months and months of seeing her post about the book and some other women commenting on how much it helped them, I finally bit the bullet and went to look for the book.  I hopped on Amazon and found it.  3 days later it arrived on my doorstep.  I carried it around with me for two additional days before I cracked it open while I was at work.

I can honestly say I devoured the book. Its short and gets to the point quickly. Fila helps you identify what type of woman you are and points out the issues in that character type.  She then lists what can be done to help with those issues and how you can heal yourself.  She also touches on sex and how its a sacred act and how you should only allow the energy of someone you want to be with to have your energy linked with .

What I loved about the book is that she leaves your entire self-healing book up to you.  In order to heal yourself, you have to want healing.  She doesn't hand you the exact path and tell you what to do.  She makes mention to some of the things she dealt with and suggests ways you can begin your own healing process. I hate being told what to do, so to have a book that is suggesting what I could be doing instead of telling me what to do made me enjoy this short book even more. 

I hope you pick this book up and share your experiences on what you took from it.

Sisterhood

                                   

THE ALL works in mysterious ways. I feel like I am constantly being reminded of the love and assistance needed to further walk on my journey. At times I have felt alone. The kind of alone that is surrounded by mobs of people yet feels like there's no one to relate to. But the universe has sent me a gift from an unexpected source..

I want to thank Shavonne for reminding me in a moment of weakness that I was wrong. I thank her for being the inspiration for my topic tonight. She was the link. While down and out about matters of the heart she reached out to me. I wasn't expecting it at all. Not only did she consistently ask me how I was doing for the days thereafter but she left her hand out (metaphorically) for whenever I needed to lean. She was no longer my "blog partner"...she became my friend.

To "lean" (or to seek emotional guidance) is an important tool I learned how to do while in college with my sorority sisters. However, I forgot that the importance of sisterhood is not how we console our closest friends/ loved ones, but how we are able to extend our love to those who we don't know as well or at all. 

As (black) women, we tend to be harsh on each other. We criticize each other for the way we look, how we talk, where we are from, how we dress, and how we choose to conduct our everyday lives. But we often forget that we are ALL one. Our differences are only branches to a single tree that we are ALL rooted in. We share the same struggles one way or the other. But in a world where it is "survival of the fittest"; and we look down on the "weak" (or "weak-minded") let us strive to be the link. The strength that is willing to be the rock for another. The link of encouragement, love, and understanding that we all need to grow and ultimately teach to one another.

We are not here for ourselves alone. We are here to heal...to inspire...and to encourage one another. Even though society has corrupted our minds into the idea of competing for men, money, attention, prestige, etc. we must remember that a true woman of THE ALL is here to be source of strength. 

Remember...WE ARE THE SOURCE!!!

Diet IS Spiritual (Part 2)

In the first part of my post last week I briefly explained my spiritual journey and thus discovering the connection between spirituality and food. I do want to first off, make a disclaimer to anyone who may not practice/ believe what I do particularly about food. I'm only providing my story and encouraging others who are thinking what I was thinking regarding what we put in our bodies as "nourishment".

Being raised in the church there was no real discussion on taking care of your body on a physical level. Only in regards to premarital sex, and weed & alcohol consumption. Half of the time the majority of the congregation were either smokers, drinkers, and/or overweight. Of course, if we ran into a certain scripture pertaining to gluttony (for example) then there would be an elaboration....a brief one.

I did learn, however, learn about the story of Daniel. To summarize, Daniel was a man who refused to eat the food of the King (flesh foods & wine) and decided to partake in a (vegan) fast consisting of whole grains, fruits vegetables and strictly water. By the time it was all said and done as noted in Daniel 10:3 & Daniel 1:15 it states:

3" I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.....15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food."

It intrigued me how Daniel strayed from flesh foods and did not consider it a key component in optimal health. Fast forward to now many faiths, condone not only eating flesh meat but in some cases even pork. The consumption of pork in particular goes against the Old Testament law. 

Over the years. I would occasionally run into a vegan or vegetarian and hear horror stories about how the animals are treated before they are turned into food. But I didn't immerse myself in it until reading Queen Afua's book Sacred Woman. In the book she explained how flesh foods cause dis-ease and other behavioral issues, and that the ultimate goal of eliminating meat out of our diet (in addition to other processed/ refined foods) should be attained.

A little over a week ago, I decided to watch Vegucated on Netflix. In this documentary you had four people exploring the vegan diet and learning how meat is processed and fed to the masses. By the end of the movie, I was able to witness first hand how these animals were not only forced to live in an unnatural environment but were also abused and savagely murdered at these factory farms. 

Chicks were ground alive. Chickens were de-beaked without sedation. Cows were castrated without sedation. Baby calves were ripped away from their mothers without being properly weaned. Pigs were electrocuted and shot in the head among each other. Chickens would be so pumped up in steroids to be larger they would collapse and no longer be able to walk These animals (cows, chickens and pigs) were fed corn, which goes against their natural environment entirely. In addition to that, all of these animals had to live in their own feces. This is in part why most antibiotics do not go to humans but in fact these animals. I even found out that even so called "organic:" meats can not necessarily be excluded from this kind of treatment. It only, in part, ensures that they are not fed any growth hormones. 

I had to think about it. Animals have spirits. It implies that in not only in the Bible but other forms of spirituality as well. Just like our pets have emotions and personalities, so does every other animal. If I ingest the meat of an abused animal what kind of spirit(s) am I putting in my body? On a spiritual level, what does that really mean? After watching the movie it validated in my mind the importance of returning to the original way of eating as discussed in Genesis 1:29. More and more studies are proving that eating meat can be linked to may different illnesses that plague us all. Recalls on meat are a common part of our society now with issues of contamination. So what do you do? Do you continue to consume or do you pause in angst?

When you sit down to eat your next meal ask yourself this: are you eating for physical gratification only or are you also eating for the nourishment of your soul?

Let's Talk Balance: Physical

Hey guys (including the queens too!)

I hope you noticed that I have another queen that has come to the table to spread the word on some things that are important to her.  I feel it is important that we show each other love in our community and continue to build with one another.  There can be no black unity and no black power, without understanding and support.  So I would like to give a huge thank you to living_maat for joining me on the blog.  I really look forward to working with her to spread love, healing, some consciousness and everything else we can think of to the community.

So onto the subject of today's blog.  I think this may actually turn into a series, but we'll see how that goes as we move along this journey together.

Balance is important.  Not just for physical things like walking, but on all 3 or 4 levels. The 3/4 levels I am referring to are mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.  Now some people will lump mental and emotional or emotional and spiritual into one category which is fine.  The point is we need to strive for balance in all of these areas.

So lets take a look at the physical aspect of the Big Four.  Physical balance is more than just are you standing up straight today.  Physical balance includes a wide array of things like, have you had enough to eat today, did you get enough sleep last night, etc. Your well being physically is the most visual of the Big Four but seems to be the most neglected.  We tend to push ourselves physically, get less sleep than we should, eat more or less than we should, drink way less water than we should, drink more alcohol than we should, exercise less than we should and then wonder why we have aches and pains and our energy tanks seem to be on E.

So I want to encourage everyone to seek balance in the physical aspect of their lives (I find this the easiest one to start with).

Make sure you're getting enough sleep. I know you are out there hustling for your future (I am too), but sleep is important. How are you going to be able to enjoy the things you are working for now if you're too exhausted? I'm not saying give up your grind completely, however I am suggesting that you get the correct amount of sleep for your age so that you're able to function and do what you need to do.

Make sure you are eating enough and your body is getting the proper nutrition.  Meat eaters eat differently than vegetarians who eat different from vegans.  Wherever you fall, make sure you are getting what your body needs.  I am not a doctor in any shape, form or fashion, so I'm not going to tell you exactly what you need to be ingesting and in what combination to get what you need.  I'm just going to tell you do it.

Speaking of do it, make sure you are getting some form of physical fitness.  Whether you enjoy yoga, going to the gym, boxing, getting sweaty with your significant others (you know what I'm talking about, don't get shy on me now), you need to be actively doing something.  Even if its just walking, get out there and walk. There is seriously no excuse for not being able to be physically active for a minimum of 15 minutes a day (I do squats at work when my store is empty, so if I can still get a mini exercise in, you have no excuse).

And lastly, make sure you're drinking enough water. There is a formula to figure out how much water you are supposed to be drinking a day.  Your weight divided in half, divided by 8 to find the number of cups of water you should drink per day. Water is so vital to our body that I shouldn't even have to add this part! Not juice, not soda, water.  If you want to get on the aloe vera and coconut water thing be my guest (I think it's pretty tasty). If you want to drink infused water, do that.  But drink water all day, every day.

I hope everyone strives to find a little more physical balance in their daily lives.  If you can think of any other physical areas that I missed, add them in the comments section below. 

Until next time,
Hotep King's and Queen's

Diet IS Spirituality (Part 1)

For the past several months I have been making an attempt to transform my life from the inside out. Over the years I had tried many approaches that were unsuccessful. I would end up defaulting to "healing" myself from the outside in, and not seem to be making any significant changes no matter what I tried. 

I was going off of the typical feedback of the 1992 Food Pyramid in which lean (meat) proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains, working out regularly, etc were vital keys to attaining a healthy lifestyle.

(80's babies...remember this???...)

So for years I hopped on and off that horse, not being able to lose more than 25 pounds at a time (in which it took forever to get that far) and of course, when I finally put back on the weight I ended up heavier than I was before. Eventually I stopped going to the gym and sunk back in to a very unhealthy/ fast food/ eat whatever I want eating lifestyle.

But my spiritual reawakening happened. I started exploring my ancestral roots as well as different forms of African spirituality. It threw me on a path that revolutionized my whole way of viewing myself as a woman and spiritual being, while educating me extensively on my spiritual/ancestral roots.

While I was still "on the horse" (as mentioned above) I had came across an Instagram post praising the work of Queen Afua.                                                                                                            

                                                            

With my interest peaked, I looked her up on YouTube. I was hooked. This woman's testimony was so inspiring. Here you had, at that time, a little girl who was plagued by numerous allergies/health issues that are so common in today's society. After attending a spiritual retreat she learned the importance of healing through plant-based foods. Today, she is healed of all of her ailments while maintaining a Vegan lifestyle. She is a notable figure in today's spiritual/ holistic health movement, particularly in the black community.

I went on to buy her Two books: Sacred Woman & Heal Thyself

                                            

These books helped to reaffirm not only how you have to heal from the inside out through spiritual assistance, but the importance of returning to the original ways of a plant-based/ meatless diet that OUR ancestors once practiced.

At the time I was still eating meat and was still a bit skeptical as to the importance of pursuing a meat-less/ plant-based diet. Since Queen Afua practices the Kemetic faith (and me still being in the church at that time) I was looking for a spiritual link to make a more comfortable/familiar connection.

In a peculiar turn of events while I was searching through The Bible for certain scriptures I had came across Genesis 1:29 and it reads:

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

THE ALL truly does work in mysterious ways....

That became my confirmation. While struggling to kick the meat habit for a couple of months, I have successfully been off meat for the past two weeks. I have lost so far a total of 15 pounds; over HALF of what I had previously lost that had taken me much longer to achieve. I'm more refreshed. I have more energy to tackle my days AND I no longer get the itis after eating a full meal



                              "The Itis" The Boondocks season 1 Episode 10/ Adult Swim


....but just when I thought I didn't need any more convincing about maintaining a meatless diet....I came across this:

                                             

                                                                                       Part Two coming soon...

Brick One

Is success a destination or is it a journey? What even is "success"? For years I thought It was a destination. One that stated It's a career. It's a husband. It's children. It's a certain size. It's a certain look. But fast forward to now I find myself asking that question again. NOW... after turning twenty-eight....being a college graduate for four years with NO career.... a ten year part-time job with no promotion in sight (with four or five second jobs scattered in between)..... a spiritual life that I couldn't truly call my own....and a reflection in the mirror that has yet to show who is really hiding behind all of this physical & emotional weight. I finally asked myself that question:

"Where the %$#@! was I all this time???"

And then immediately following that I sensed THE ALL ask me: 
"Do you even know who you REALLY are???"

My Answer: "%#@$&%...." 
...I didn't even have a clue. I had realized that my answers never had anything to do with me, but had everything to do with things outside of myself.

That realization proved to be the catalyst. That moment sparked the change.

I feel like THE ALL has put me in a peculiar space to both reflect on my life and move forward into my optimal Destiny. That "destiny"  that The Bible speaks of in Jeremiah 29: 11:


11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."


Twenty-eight years has brought so many different life experiences involving people, places, triumphs, and setbacks. But rather than choosing to live in a dream world; in which I somehow have ALL the right answers,  I'm choosing to pick up my brick and actually start BUILDING in reality. It wasn't until recently that  I realized I was only grabbing for handfuls of sand, wondering why I couldn't lay a solid foundation. Upset that my "foundation" kept crumbling. You see, my head wasn't in the right place. I wasn't even asking all the right questions when I called myself praying for an answer. At times I wasn't even asking. I was just doing; acting in my own ignorance, bias, and impatience. 

Now I'm evolving. Reading....Healing....Listening....Losing....Gaining....Praying....Affirming...((Shutting UP))...Letting go....and holding on in this process called Self-evolution. I always knew that my story would end up being one person's inspiration. And prayerfully that person would be the next person's inspiration...and the ball would keep rolling....and rolling....and rolling...That's the ultimate goal.

My purpose here is to first & foremost: 

ENLIGHTEN:
"Temet Nosce" Latin for "Know Thyself". Once you KNOW who you are and who THE ALL has called you to be, you become an unstoppable force that is able to successfully lay the foundation of the empire that is your LIFE and build accordingly!!! THE ALL has already given us all of the tools necessary. All we have to do is use them.

ENCOURAGE
Being a part of the cure and not the disease. Helping you to not only pick up the first brick but to help you keep building.

THINK
This segment will expand on such topics as spirituality, sexuality. race, gender, social standards, beauty, self-care, prejudices, relationships, etc....Whats a good way to stimulate the mind like a thought-provoking topic???

SHARE
I said I was evolving and this will allow me to be open and honest about my own struggles and what steps I'm taking to conquer them. I may want to cringe inside with what all I may disclose but then again, I'm here to be someone's inspiration.


Were all on a journey in this life....lets strive to always move in the highest vibration possible

What Do You Want to See and My Spritual Journey

First off, thank you to everyone that takes their time to read my blog.  I'm very happy you take the time to read what I'm thinking.  I want to bring you more of what you want to see, learn about etc. So I'm all ears for suggestion.  I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for you, so I want your input.  Leave me comments letting me know what you want me to try to blog about.  If there's a business I should be looking at, tell me.  If there's art I should be buying, tell me.  If there are books I should be reading (my ultimate weakness and guilty pleasure), send me the name, author and the best place to buy it from.  I'm going to try to post on Mondays and Fridays with a video on YouTube on Wednesdays.  And the videos and a quick description will be in an additional post here.  So again, this blog is for you.  Let me know what you want to see.

I'm constantly curious about the spiritual journeys other people go through.  I find it very rare to meet someone that has always been in tune with their ancestral spiritual roots.  I know I wasn't always.  So I thought it would be a good chance to explain how I went from where I was, to where I am now. 

So I was raised as a Baptist Christian. Just regular Baptist (I learned when I lived in South Carolina that there is a difference between a regular Baptist and a Southern Baptist (absolutely no idea what that difference is though)). I remember going to church every Sunday with my mom.  I remember the dresses and putting money into the offering plate ($1). I remember the story of Jonah and the whale, and David and Goliath. However when my family moved to Holland, I remember seeing things a little differently.  We went to church still but it was with other American families, but the Children's church didn't have the structure I remembered from my old church. After a while, we stopped going,

When we moved to California, I don't think we went at all.  I remember going once and it was so cold inside the church.  I spent the time huddled with my mom and sister trying to keep warm. Eventually after my brother was born my family moved to South Carolina, and again we didn't really find a church.  We attended a few services to find a church but with moving from on base to our own home we never really found a place we enjoyed.  It was around this time I started getting back into my rock collecting.  I had been a part of one of those little monthly rock collecting groups you get from the scholastic book orders.  I would get the cards explaining some of the properties of the rocks and crystals I would get in the mail.  Now that I was in my own home with my own room, I started collecting them again. My parents didn't think anything of it. I also asked for my own set of tarot cards so I could read peoples futures for extra cash, like one of my heroines in my favorite book series did (The Daughters of the Moon series).  This was met by a firm no and that it was the devils work. Only God knew our futures.

Once I became a freshman in high school things changed for me.  I joined a martial arts club because of my love for anime (I was also taking a kenpo class before moving). I met another student in the class and we hit it off pretty quickly We adopted each other as brother and sister at school and quickly learned about each others interests. I brought up my love for writing and that I was into crystals.  At the mention of this he asked me to bring my crystals to him in the gym the next morning.  I thought he might want to see them and agreed. This would be the beginning of my pagan/wiccan journey.  This would also be the time in my life where I experienced my worst depression.

This person became my teacher, my best friend, my eventual boyfriend and my first heartbreak. Around the end of our relationship I had turned myself into someone I was no longer proud to be. I had picked up a small habit of petty theft because my parents refused to allow me to buy the books myself.  I had begun cutting myself to deal with the pain our relationship was causing me mentally and emotionally.  I let my grades slip to the point to where getting a D (which is passing by South Carolina standards) became acceptable in both my eyes and the eyes of my parents. I graduated college and three weeks later I began attending college for the first time.

At this time I wasn't sure in what I believed in.  Eventually towards my last semester of school before I graduated, I went back to exploring Wicca.  This time I was on my own and I felt more secure.  However I was praying to Greek and Norse deities and something didn't click with me internally.  My soul felt like I was outside the door to my own home but could not get in.  And then I discover Egyptian deities and Tameran Wicca (Wicca based off the ancient Egyptian practices and deities).  And for a while I felt great.  I felt like I was home.  Even when things weren't going my way in life I still felt like my spirit and my mind were in a safe place. The pain that lingered from my past seemed to be gone.

Then one day my ex began to email me.  And within about two weeks, my mental state seemed out of whack again.. It was something with how our energy reacted to one another that drove me to the darkest place within myself.  But this time I made it out okay.  Even though I was sinking mentally and emotionally, spiritually I felt okay.  I knew nothing bad would happen to me this time.  I was able to walk away and end this tumultuous chapter of my life.  Now about this same time I was making my transition to embracing my natural hair.  This is also the time when I began expanding my Instagram and meeting new people.  I was also in a relationship with someone that was doing his best to understand my "religion".  I was starting to become dissatisfied with the amount of books I could find on Egyptian Wicca because all of them were written by Caucasians.  Then one day I was recommended a book online. It was the first volume of Metu Neter by Ra Un Nefer Amen. This book opened my eyes to what my spirituality could actually become. For a while I still considered myself wiccan but then slowly I got away from it.

Even though I know I had found my spiritual home emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, I still had a tough time understanding some of the things I was trying to absorb.  It was at this time I met Clecquot online and began reading Muata Ashby books.  Muata Ashby books helped my mind to better grasp and absorb what I was reading in the Metu Neter. Now some of his books were still difficult for my mind to absorb at the time I noticed that all of his books built off of his other books.  So I started with African Religion Volume One and then bought a few others.  But I was unable to understand the other until I pushed myself to comprehend what was before my eyes.  So now I'm seeing the similarities between kemeticism and Christianity and I think its amazing.  Its given me a whole new outlook to the way some of my friends and family express their faith.  I don't think I will ever consider myself a Christian, I consider myself close enough to be able to sit with Christians and feel comfortable in expressing my views and beliefs.

So this is my journey up to this point.  And I'm looking forward to reading about yours.

Hotel King's and Queen's

Drop the Mask and Be You

This is a post that I feel a lot of people need.  And I'm only saying this because I went through the same thing and occasionally slip back into this old habit.  So I just want to take the time to say this to each and every person that I can touch with this blog. 


I had a bad habit of dumbing myself down and changing who I was to fit in during high school to make friends with people.  I wouldn't read the things I liked, watch the things I like, talk about the things I like all to please some people that weren't there for me a few weeks after graduation. And this lead me down a very difficult road. And I am just now correcting myself when it comes to my mindset and just letting the people in my life see me for me.  I'm old enough now to understand that I shouldn't have to change myself for someone else to like me or to love me.  They should like me for who I am and fall in love with my very essence, not a dimmed version of it. It took my current relationship for me to see that I can just be me and the right person will like... well... me.

I'm smarter than I allow myself to be, and more outgoing than I allow myself to be because I put myself into the box of what people expect from me.

So I'm here to tell each and every person I can, just drop the mask and be yourself.  Each and every of us was put here to change the world in some shape, form or fashion.  But you can't change the world if you're too busy changing yourself to be someone you're not for other people.  Just take the time to find out who you really are and let other people see that too.  You never know who you may meet, and who is really meant to be in your life if you're hiding.  You don't need to hide anymore.

Hotel King's and Queen's

Seeking Vegetarians

So after my birthday last year, I made the decision to give up pork. The decision was based on seeing images of slabs of pork flesh oozing a very strange looking green substance.  I looked into it and it turned out it was an abscess in the pork and the green stuff (for lack of a better word at the moment) was pus.  Now even though I have my degree for surgical technology and I can deal with looking inside a living body, the idea of my food oozing pus disturbed me.

Another factor that played into my decision was a lot of my friends in the spiritual/conscious community.  They urged me to quit eating pork to help clean up/detoxify and eventual begin to decalcify my pineal gland.  Now my spiritual journey was changing very rapidly at this point.  I had gone from a crystal toting self-professed Tamera-wiccan to just a spiritual person in general (I don't know how many times I have typed the word spurt instead of spirit). I went from my practice revolving around Greek and Norse deities to discovering deities from my own culture. But this is a topic for another day.

The last thing that helped me make my decision did not come until about a quarter of the way into 2014.  I picked up a second job at an assisted living facility. I stay up all night (11p-7a) checking in on some of these elderly people, washing their clothes, helping them to the toilet, taking out their trash, even occasionally wiping their behind for them.  And after a few weeks of doing this job, it hit me.  I don't want to be like them when I hit my 70s or 80s or 90s. I don't want to have someone following me around all night.  I don't want to have someone helping me take a shower, or push my wheelchair down the hall to and from every meal.  I want to be able to function on my own.  I've taken the time to sit down and talk to some of my favorite residents (I am trained on all three shifts so I have seen them at various times of the day), and it turns out that they were all heavy meat eaters in their earlier year and some of them still are. I hear stories of steak, and stews, and pork chops at Sunday dinner. Burgers and fries (nothing against fries, I love fries!), chicken fried steak, you get the idea.  I don't want to live like these residents.  I want to spend my golden years with the one that loves me through thick and thin and enriching the lives of my family.

So at this point, I've given up eating pork and beef. Pork was tricky because I like Chipotle. My grandparents have a tradition where they go to Chipotle every Wednesday. And while to the average person this may not be a big deal, Chipotle used to make their pinto beans with bacon (not that you could even taste the bacon).  So for my first few weeks, I would be pork free except for Wednesdays. Then I switched to black beans, just to feel like I was actually sticking to my word.  I honestly hate the taste (or lack thereof) of black beans.  Black beans and mushrooms are just bland.  Eventually Chipotle tried to become more vegetarian and vegan friendly so they stopped using bacon in their pinto beans and added Sofritos (tofu) to their menu. I jumped for joy about getting my pinto beans back.  I even went ahead and decided I was going to give up my chicken burrito bowl and just get the Sofritos instead.  Until that night as I felt my throat beginning to hurt, burn and generally tighten up like someone was choking me.  Then I remembered one very important fact.  I am allergic to soy.  I honestly forgot that tofu and soy are the same thing.

Beef I gave up without even realizing it.  My nana came home from the doctors one day and said she needed to cut back on her sugars and starches and her cholesterol and blood pressure were a bit too high.  So I stopped cooking stew and pot roast without even really thinking about it. Almost as if overnight, they were no longer in our home. A month and a half passed and I did not even realize it.  I got off of work one night and picked my nana up to go to Olive Garden (its my favorite restaurant in the world, I go every year for my birthday) for dinner.  What I wanted to eat had chorizo in it (I googled it from my phone and found out it was a type of pork sausage), so I went to the next item on my list of things to try.  I ordered steak medallion fettuccine Alfredo.  I ate about half of it because I had filled up on breadsticks and salad.  Within about 45 minutes I was in the bathroom with an upset stomach.  I stayed in my room for the rest of the night.  I went to work the next morning, came home and ate my leftovers for dinner, and the same thing happened.  It didn't click with me until a two weeks later when I had a steak for dinner at Applebee's and my stomach was messed up within 20 minutes that it was the beef that was messing my stomach up.

So now I just eat poultry and seafood.  I guess I fall into the category of pescatarian/pollotarian.  And for now I'm okay with this.  I do want to give up chicken and turkey and seafood (bye salmon) by the end of August.  At least the school I go to has veggie and black bean burgers, so I can spend the $6 once or twice a week there or go home and make my version of sesame noodles.  So for all my vegetarians and vegans out there, I want your tips and tricks and recipes (as long as they don't involve soy or mushrooms). I want to know what helped you make the choice, how long it took you, etc. And if you're in the same situation I am in, where you live with someone that does not want to become vegetarian (but you do all of the cooking) how do you feed yourself and keep them happy?

Until the next post,
Hotel Kings and Queens

How I Returned to Being Natural

I love natural hair.  Every style, color, texture, kink, coil, and nap makes me smile. If there was a smell for being natural, I would love that too (actually I think it's coconut).  I love seeing a naturalista  while I am at work and being able to ask her questions about how she styles her hair and what made her go natural.  I love answering questions about how I do my twists and what products I use and how I became natural.  I love the fact that my mother has finally given up the relaxers and is learning her own hair. I said I would be including natural hair stuff in this blog so I thought I would only make sense to tell how I returned to being natural before I started to do product reviews.  I know I did a product review in one of my earlier posts but I thought it would help to add some things about my own hair to let people know why certain things don't work for my hair.

So I'm going to start off with when I actually started getting relaxers.  I want it to be known that it was not my choice to start relaxing my hair.  My mother felt that at 14 about to start attending high school, I was too old to be wearing my hair straight back in corn rows.  My first relaxer came as a surprise to me. I remember it burned so badly and I wanted to cry (I have a pretty high pain tolerance so it takes a lot for any sort of physical pain to make me want to cry).  I remember my mom being so happy that my hair was straight. I remember waking up the next morning with parts of my hair plastered to my scalp because it had been oozing all night.  I remember trying to chip out what looked like a combination of plasma and blood from my scalp so I could style my hair. This happened no matter what I did.  If I scratched it happen, if I didn't scratch it happened, if they used regular relaxers it happened, if they used sensitive or mild relaxers it happened.  My scalp was just not meant to handle relaxers.

My junior year in high school I chopped a lot of my hair and went Rihanna short. I kept it this way for my senior year as well.  I went through my "wild" time at the end of high school and when I started college just a few short weeks later I was ready for something new. 

 My college years went by fairly quickly (I was going for my associates degree for surgical technology at this time) and I was enjoying myself.  I got my license, dated a little and overall I was happy. I was still trying to make my mother happy by getting relaxers, but my college experience was making me happy. Towards the middle of my second to last semester a friend of mine introduced me to a friend of his that he thought would be good for me.  We met and eventually started going out.  Now a few months into our relationship I got another bad relaxer.  I was at his house, sitting on his bed trying to unglued my hair from my scalp complaining about how badly it hurt. He suggested that I stop getting relaxers and go natural.  His sister used to get relaxers all the time and she had the same problem I had.  Now she had been natural for 3 years and her hair had grown back even longer and thicker than it had been before she went through the process.
I took his idea into consideration.  I went home that night and started to look up natural hair.  I googled relaxed hair, natural hair, how-to guides on going natural, downloaded a book about taking care of black hair.  I told my mom about what he said and what I wanted to do. At this point my mom was very anti-natural hair and told me that I was letting him manipulate me and that I would never find a job as a surgical tech with nappy hair.  March 9th 2012 was my last relaxer. It was my last semester of school and my mom wanted my hair to look nice for my graduation so I agreed to one final relaxer.  Six weeks later I sat in the chair in front of my hairdresser and told her I didn't want another relaxer, I was going to go natural. At first she told me that I should "take a break from relaxers" since I wanted my hair to grow out.  As the weeks went on, I think she became more and more frustrated with having to take care of my newly growing roots.  She began flat ironing my hair on pretty high heat to straighten my roots out and she would constantly ask if I had decided to cut it all off or get another relaxer.  I had originally planned to cut it all off but my mother intervened.  Mid May came and I had an interview with a local hospital in my area.  I was assured I would be given the job after I took my certification exam for the NBSTSA. I took my exam the first Friday of June and passed with flying colors.  The first person I called was my teacher.  The second person I called was my boyfriend.  The last person I called was my ex.  I wanted to tell my mom to her face and wanted to call my dad with her and tell him the good news.

I started my new job June 11th and did my first Big Chop June 16th. I had the job and that was what I had been waiting for in order to do the big chop. My dad was the most enthused about my hair cut, telling me that I looked beautiful and took pictures.  My little brother rubbed my head and told me I was so soft now.  My sister didn't really have any comments and my mother said she was glad I had finally cut it all off. When I saw my boyfriend a few days later, the first thing he told me is that my hair was too short.  I was crushed. I had been so excited after cutting my hair and since it had been him that put the idea in my head I thought he would have been more supportive. He wasn't and from that point I realized I had gone natural for the wrong reasons and that I needed to figure out if this was what I really wanted before I decided to slap a relaxer back onto my head.



After a few months I decided that I liked being natural and this was how I was going to keep my hair fuzzy (fuzzy is what my brother started calling my hair when I did my first BC and I like it, so it stuck).  Other things in my life started to change though.  I lost the job that I worked so hard to get at the hospital and I was told I did not have enough experience for any of the other hospitals in my area. I can honestly say at the time I felt crushed, and I  felt that I was not given any support from those I loved.  I felt like I was being pushed to find myself another job.  A few months later, I let my mother blow dry my hair.  She wanted to see how long it had gotten.  For someone who had been against my natural journey, she was really excited to see how my hair had grown in the few months I had been relaxer free. I washed my hair and used the heat protecting cream I had bought from Carol's Daughter. My mom put the blow dryer on high heat and went to town straightening my hair out.  When the dryer finally stopped my hair was blown out, and it actually looked pretty long.  The problem came two days later when my hair would not revert back to its original texture.  I had heat damage.  That Saturday I went o the barbershop with my dad and got it all cut off again. 

This time my hair did not grow as quickly as it had before.  Honestly it didn't look like it was growing at all. I had bad hand in hair syndrome at this point. I was constantly touching and pulling at my hair and this made for very slow growth. I applied for at a large hospital system in Virginia where my father was living.  My entire family was about to move in June anyway so I felt like I would have a good chance at finding a job there with so many hospitals there.  A few days later I was called for a phone interview.  A few days after that I was emailed to schedule an in person interview.  I would catch a ride up with my dad the next time he came to visit and I would fly back. My mother suggested I get braids for my interview to look more professional.  I felt I would be lying to my potential future employers by interviewing with braids in my hair but really rocking at TWA underneath but I had never had braids with weave before so I gave it a shot.

I didn't get the job, but I did discover the ability braids to help my hair grow.  The length of my hair seemed to after a month of extensions, biotin and black castor oil.  I would get kinky twists and another set of braids later on, but honestly I like people seeing my for me and extra hair just hides that.

Fast forward from April 2013 to August of 2013. I was able to interview for one of my two current jobs, and I went completely fuzzy for my interview (well not my eyebrows.  My nana refused to let me interview with caterpillar brows). I got the job and every day I go to work with a twist out or a fro or even braids (I had braids for 3 weeks at the start of my first semester back in school, and I hated it).

I was tempted to cut my hair into a tapered fro a few weeks ago, but something stopped me.  Mainly because even though my hair does grow pretty quickly, I'm attached to the hair on the  back and sides of my head (I think this has to do with the fact that my nana has pictures of me with only hair on the top of my head in the house). Also I think I'm having fun experimenting with different styles (I'm working on mastering flat twists at the moment and I think I need my hair for that). And finally my mother finally let the relaxers go and she's 100% natural. I think keeping my hair the length that it is and letting her see my hair grow inspires her to let her hair grow and keep up learning about her own hair. So this is the story of my natural hair journey up until this point.  My two year natural anniversary is June 16th, 2014 and I'm looking forward to getting a blow out and a trim to see just how long my hair has gotten. But this time I will be letting a professional that specializes in natural hair do it, and not my mom. 

So now I want to hear your stories. What made you return to natural? What makes you try things out for your hair? Do you color it? Is it loc'd, is it an afro? Do you protective style on a regular basis? What makes your hair your hair and does your hair have a name? Do you know your hair type (I certainly don't) Share your story with me and the other viewers.

Until the next time, Hotep Queens and King's

I’m Back!!!

I always manage to get behind on projects. Even when it’s something I’m really passionate about, I always find myself behind.  I made this blog with the intention of posting 2-3 times a week, and the last time I posted was in October.  I know, I know April is definitely not 2-3 times a week, but I never forgot about this page.  I just find myself easily caught up with the things going on in my life or lacking inspiration.  Somehow I always find myself tired at the end of the day and cannot seem to put fingers to keys. Yet I can still watch Fairy Tail on Netflix or Crunchy Roll (it’s one of my current favorites).
I wanted to do a quick update post, to say what’s going on in my little world and let everyone know when I’m going to start posting on a more frequent basis.
So since I thought of this blog on my birthday last year, a lot of things have changed for me.

• I moved to back to my home state. 
• I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 11 months (I’m okay with it, I have an amazing family and great friends that supported me through my rough period. My rough period was actually before the break up—like Valentine’s Day of 2013 was my rough period and we did not call it quits until mid September)
• I have 2 part time jobs. 
• I’m also a full-time student in a competitive placement nursing program (this is my first semester). This is the biggest reason I find myself lacking the will do to anything half of the time.  Chemistry class is my worst subject (it was in high school and it still is) and I feel mentally drained by the end of the day.
• I also started my own home-based business. 
• I’m a pescatarian/pollotarian (still working on giving up turkey and salmon)

So I’m a busy little bee. However some things have not changed for me:

• I still love books.
• My hair is still natural (2 years June 16th!!)
• I still love my melanin
• I still do my best to buy black when I can.  (Some things I just can’t help buying though, like my laptop battery)
• I still love melinated men! (I may have fanned myself a bit here, don’t judge me)

My semester ends May 10th, so I’m going to be posting more here as well as on my newly redone YouTube channel.  I also plan to expand this blog a little bit, so please bear with me. Some posts will be about the books I’m reading, some will revolve around natural hair care, some will be about my business, etc. I did post a few pictures of my outfit of the day featuring one of my favorite Kemetic based designers so my next post will be involving the clothing I have purchased from there. 
Until the next time,
Hotep